


Ring, Ring

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: AU, Loneliness, M/M, Phone Sex, Sex Worker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 08:34:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8005870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who the heck calls a phone sex line at four in the morning on a Thursday?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ring, Ring

**Author's Note:**

> I have never worked in an erotic phone hotline. If I got anything wrong, please tell me!

It was four in the morning. 

Dan's shift was over in an hour. 

Hopefully he wouldn't have anyone too annoying call his line. At least it was good money - three bucks a minute, with a ten minute minimum.

His computer screen flashed at him, and he suppressed a sigh. At least it wasn't one of the particularly annoying folks. This person wasn't flagged for anything. Newbie? 

"Hello, this is Danny, how may I be of service to you tonight?" He put his special little breathy lilt at the end of the sentence, implying who even knew what. 

"Uh, hi." The person on the other side of the line cleared their throat. It sounded like a dude. "This, uh... this is... shit, I've never done this before."

"Don't worry about it," Dan said, trying to sound soothing. "Is there something in particular you're... in the mood for?" He leaned back in his chair, stretching. His back popped, and he bit back the satisfied noise. 

Who even called a sex hotline at four in the morning? The busiest times of day were usually ten to about two. Even the most dedicated horny, closeted folks tended to turn in by three. 

Then again, this guy sounded young. Maybe he wanted to make sure his roommates or whatever were still sleeping. 

"I, uh...." The guy cleared his throat, and there was the sound of fabric rustling. "I've... do you do, like... scenarios?" 

"Yeah, totally," said Dan, his eyes on the clock. If this guy was as slow to speak as he sounded, there might be as much as twenty minutes in this session. He eyed his Game Boy - the thing was old as sin, but he had a Mario game he was still working on. He pulled it closer to him, clicking it on. 

"So, uh... what kind of... scenarios do you do?" The guy on the other end cleared his throat. 

"Oh, just about anything. But no pedophilia, no extreme violence." Dan began to flick his fingers over the buttons, easily going through the paces. It was mindless, but it let him fidget a bit. He'd go crazy otherwise. 

"Oh, god, no, I'm not, like... some sick freak or something," said the guy quickly. "Could... you pretend that we were sitting on my couch?"

"Sure," said Dan. "I'm just sitting there in my jeans with the holes in the knees, and a band t-shirt -"

"What band?" 

"Rush," said Dan, lacking anything else to say. Usually he put a lot more thought into creating a character. But it was four in the fucking morning. His usual cast of characters felt a bit too... fake right now. He'd have to work on that. 

"Right, Rush," the guy said. "What's your name?"

"Dan," said Dan, because fuck it. 

"My name is Arin," the guy said. "And, uh... we're friends. We're good friends. Best friends." He swallowed, and he sounded... sad. 

Dan hoped he wouldn't start crying. He hated having to deal with that. 

"So we're best friends. Are we.. already intimate?" Dan glanced at the clock on his computer. He had about fifty minutes until his shift was over. 

"Um...." Another thick swallow. "No," Arin said. "We're, uh... I have a... I have a crush on you, but you don't know it. Or at least, I think you don't know it."

"What are we doing on the couch, Arin? Am I just hanging out with my best buddy, watching a movie? Playing video games?"

"Yeah," said Arin. "Yeah, we're playing a video game. And I just got all mad about it." Arin laughed, sounding a bit embarrassed, but amused. "I, uh... I tend to get really worked up over games."

"That's what I like about you, bro," said Dan. "You gotta admire a guy who's got passion."

"Yeah. Passion." Arin's voice had gone deeper. "So, uh... when I was in college, you know I was part of this thing called the D club?"

"Yeah? What's the D club?" Dan missed a mushroom and bit back a curse. 

"It's.. okay, you gotta promise not to laugh at this, okay?" 

"Cross my heart, bro," said Dan. "Absolutely no laughter from me." 

"So, uh, we would show each other that we weren't gay by, like, showing each other our dicks."

"Yeah? I'm sure that's perfectly normal," said Dan. "Plenty of dudes look at each others dicks."

"Could you, uh...." Another swallow. "Could you be more... surprised, please?"

"You mean you actually showed each other your dicks? Isn't that kinda gay?" This character was easier to get into. A lot of dudes had fantasies about it, for some reason. Converting the straight guy. 

“It’s not gay,” Arin said defensively. “It’s totally not gay.”

“So are you asking to see my dick?” Dan laughed. “What are you wearing? Do you have a boner, Arin? Does the idea of feasting your eyes on my glorious cock make you horny?”

“I’ve… I’ve got it at half chub,” Arin said, and he sounded bashful. “I can… you could see it, it’s kinda making a lump in my pajama pants.” 

“So you’re saying,” Dan said, as Mario jumped onto the flagpole, “that you just so happen to have a boner while asking to see my dick. But totally not gay.” He laughed. 

“Maybe I’m just nervous,” Arin said. “You know, telling my best friend that I’ve seen other dude’s dicks makes it weird. It’d make anyone nervous.”

“Yeah. Do you get boners for no reason? It’s okay, buddy, I am, like, the king of the no reason boner.” Dan kept his tone casual, friendly. Most people didn’t ask for a best friend kind of experience. He was on slightly new ground. 

Not that new, though. Certain experiences are pretty universal, right?

“Yeah. It’s totally a no reason boner,” said Arin, and he sounded amused. “So. You wanna become a member of the D club?”

“I dunno, man. Don’t your other friends have to be there? Or do you want them to watch as you look at my dick?”

“No, no, just you and me is, uh… is fine,” said Arin. “Come on, are you afraid to show me your dick?” 

“I’ll tell you what,” said Dan, beginning to feel the shape of the scenario in his head. “If you show me yours, I’ll show you mine.”

Arin laughed. “You were just calling me gay, and now you’re asking to see my weiner?”

“You did not just say weiner. You did not.” Dan was snickering in spite of himself, as he aimed for question blocks. 

Mario must have taken a lot of headache pills.

That made him actually start laughing, and Arin was laughing with him. It felt organic, comfortable. 

Well, at least, as comfortable as one can feel in a small room with no windows and a lot of fluorescent lighting at four in the morning. 

“Okay, so, like… if you take yours out, I’ll take mine out,” said Arin. “We can have a D club meeting. Just to prove we’re not gay.”

Dan rolled his eyes. The ones in denial tended to get on his nerves. Still, it had been… almost fifteen minutes. So he couldn’t complain too much. 

“Fine,” said Dan, “but this is totally gay.”

“If it’s so gay, why are you doing it?” Arin sounded defensive, but there was a rustling of cloth, and then a stifled sigh. 

“I’m just going along with my best friend, man,” said Dan, and he made a point of rustling his own clothing, zipping up the zipper he kept in his cubicle for such occasions. 

“So… what do you think of my cock?” Arin’s voice sounded nervous, and thick. His voice had gotten even lower. Christ, what could the guy even do with his vocal chords? 

“I dunno,” said Dan. “How about you, uh… how about you tell me about it?” He made his voice breathy, beginning to pant. “Since it looks so… fucking good right there.”

“It’s big,” Arin said, and of course he did. Dan rolled his eyes again, harder. “ I’m cut, too. Circumcised. It’s, uh… in the old D club, they used to call it the brontosaurus, because it curves down. So, like, when you draw a brontosaurus, you gotta do the down curve, kinda?” 

“Yeah,” said Dan. “Do they call you dinosaur dick?” 

“Nobody ever called me dinosaur dick,” said Arin. “They called me brontosaurus, like I said!”

“My mistake,” Dan said. 

“So, uh… I’m looking at your dick,” said Arin. “What does it look like?” 

“My dick is fuckin’ huge,” said Dan, with the ease of practice. He was more or less playing himself, so he was going to answer like he would. “It’s almost eight inches long, and it’s called Excalibur. I’m also cut, it curves up.” 

“Would it… that is, is it hard?” There was a wet sound, and a quiet gasp. “Do you… do you think I’m sexy.”

“You’re my best friend,” Dan said, and he made his own voice sound a bit desperate, rustling his t-shirt some more. “I bet I’ve looked over at you while we’re gaming together, and just wanted to kiss you.”

“Would you?”

“Would I kiss you? Sure, I’d kiss you. Because looking at your dick just gets mine so hard, and I can’t seem to control myself when I look into your eyes.” 

“Oh!” Arin was moaning, full on moaning, and there were fleshy noises. “Yes, please, kiss me, please!” 

“I’d kiss your sweet mouth,” Dan said, looking at his computer clock. Half an hour, then he could go home! “I’d slide my tongue between your lips and press it against yours. I think I’d pull you closer, my hands on your head -” 

“Would you pull my hair?” The question was desperate, needy.

“Totally,” said Dan. “I’d pull your hair and I’d move from your mouth to your neck, just kissing down it, maybe leave a little hickey….” 

“Fuck, please… can I touch you? Please?” Arin was moaning in time with his jerking off - Dan could tell by the cadence. 

He was getting depressingly good at that. He’d put it on his resume, but he hoped this was the last time he’d work in a place like this. 

Anyway, how would you even describe that on a resume? 

“You can touch me,” Dan said, keeping his voice desperate. He put his Game Boy down to tap gently against his hand, making a fleshy noise. “How do you want to touch me?”

“I… I want to hold your face,” said Arin, and even in his arousal there was something sad in his voice. “I want… I want to look into your eyes, and, um… I want to… I want to kiss you again.” 

Oh boy. There was a lot of feeling in there. That was always… the tiniest bit awkward. 

“You can kiss me all you want,” Dan said, keeping his voice warm. “You can grab my hair, too.”

“What kind of hair do you have?” 

“What kind do you want me to have?” People usually didn’t ask that. 

“I don’t want… you to have anything you don’t, please.” More begging in Arin's’ voice. “Please, tell me… tell me what you look like! Really look like, not, like… fake.”

Dan snorted. Oh goody. At least he didn’t ask if “Dan” was his real name. 

“Well,” Dan began, “I’m… kinda skinny. I’ve got long, curly hair. I’m really tall. I have really big hands.” 

“I’m imagining those big hands on my head,” said Arin. “Or your fingers in my mouth while you fuck me.”

Well. That had escalated quickly.

“You want me to fuck you, Arin? You want to have your ass - your _virgin_ ass - plowed open by my thick cock?” Dan put some growl in his voice, keeping up the quiet slapping sound. Some day he’d have to record himself jerking off and just hold the MP3 to the phone. It’d make life easier. 

“Please, please,” Arin gasped, and he was almost sobbing. “Please, fuck me, take me!” The wet flesh-on-flesh sounds were getting faster. “Please… cum in me, oh my god, please!”

“You want me to cum right in you? You want your best friend’s spunk just dripping out of your stretched out hole, down your leg? How badly do you want it?”

“So badly, so… so… so… _fuck_!” Arin gasped, and Dan smiled. 

“Are you cumming, Arin? I can feel you twitching around my cock, you’re getting jizz all over my hand, I can feel how much you’ve wanted me, fuck….” 

“Oh,” Arin mumbled, and there was a quiet noise, almost like another sob. “I, uh… thanks.”

“If you enjoyed your session, please give me a good review,” said Dan, putting on his chipper telemarketer voice. 

“Did you cum?” Arin’s voice was… hopeful. 

“Yeah,” Dan said, looking down at his lap. His cock was soft, in its customary spot pressed against his thigh. 

“Did you really?” Arin cleared his throat, and he was back to the voice he had started with at the beginning of the call. “I mean, uh… if you didn’t, I could try harder next time.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Dan said. “It was nice talking to you. Have a good evening!”

“You too,” Arin said. “Have a, uh… have a good evening.”

The phone clicked, and Dan leaned back, stretching. His computer dinged, and he raised an eyebrow - Arin had left him a… pretty hefty tip. That was unexpected. 

Only twenty minutes to go until he could go home. He unpaused his Game Boy, and went back to stomping goombas.


End file.
